


Where We First Began

by queuedepoisson



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Louis, Alpha/Omega, Awkward First Times, Knotting Dildos, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Liam, References to Knotting, The X Factor Tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 01:57:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5187791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queuedepoisson/pseuds/queuedepoisson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It had taken some major breakthroughs to bring them closer together.  Like when Louis first found out Liam was an omega.  When they finally started being honest with each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where We First Began

**Author's Note:**

> This came from a shared universe with Chloe, Lira, and Em. I never thought I'd be writing ABO a year ago but here we are.
> 
> Thank you to Em for chatficcing it out with me and Kati for her thorough beta and britpick!
> 
> title from Little Mix - The Beginning because I can't manage to listen to anything but Get Weird

Liam's vomiting seems to have finally come to a stop for the night as Louis rubs circles on his back, listening to small muffled snores instead of queasy whining. They'd traded the toilet and tile floor for a bucket and laying in bed so that Liam could rest his growing belly more comfortably on his side. It turned out to be a good plan because merely standing up from the floor had caused another bout and there was no way he was going to get to sleep any other way.

Louis wants to feel a small bit of satisfaction at having been right about insisting on all that early bed rest, but he can't quite manage smugness when he's looking at Liam's finally relaxed face, dark circles under his eyes hidden in the dim light of the room. It's hard to imagine how far they've come together, cuddled in their shared bed in their shared home, Liam carrying Louis' pup (or pups maybe, the first ultrasound wasn't conclusive). They never could have imagined at the start the level of success their band would reach, but Louis couldn't have imagined Liam being his best friend, his everything, when they were first put together either.

It had taken some major breakthroughs to bring them closer together. Like when Louis first found out Liam was an omega. When they finally started being honest with each other.

\---

Louis scooted under the desk and balled himself up tightly as soon as he got to the hotel room, waste bin in front of him like that helped obscure him at all. If Liam were to look in his direction for any reason, the jig would be up, but if not, it'd be the perfect prank and Liam would learn his lesson about taking the single out of turn. Yes, Liam supposedly had some kind of stomach bug, and no, he didn't look great at the end of the gig (which wasn't true, Liam always looked popstar great, but tonight he looked like a poorly popstar), but that wasn't the point. It wasn't like Louis didn't understand why Harry deserved a roommate who wasn't retching all night, but the _point_ was that Liam should have given Louis a chance to be gentlemanly and give up his room willingly rather than whining to a PA until she switched their key cards. Fortunately, Louis always planned ahead and had got an extra key card to replace his "lost one" at the front desk before they left for the venue.

It had taken some serious running to get here first with Liam being shuttled out immediately after the show, but Louis could be faster than Mr. Track Star when Mr. Track Star was all hunched over and sad looking. If anything, this prank would be the perfect thing to cheer Liam up and distract him from his upset stomach. Even with the advantage of being not ill, Louis only made it there with seconds to spare and had to practically hold his breath when the door unlocked because he was still breathing so hard.

As it turned out, being heard was not going to be an issue because Liam was whining in this high pitched miserable way as he came in the room. Louis didn't have to worry about being seen either as Liam barely got his shirt off before crawling on to the bed face first. It all seemed pretty standard sickly stuff, so Louis kept up his watch, waiting for Liam to roll onto his back for more ideal pouncing.

The wait went on and on though. Louis wasn't going to move enough to pull his phone out of his back pocket to check whether it had been five or fifty minutes, but it felt like forever because while Liam had yet to roll over, he hadn't fallen asleep either. Louis knew because the whining hadn't stopped. If anything, it had got worse. It sounded almost like - No, what it sounded like was a sick person and in that moment, Louis was not going to let himself think anything else. Possibly sick enough that if Louis did pounce on Liam, he might end up puked on. So most likely it was time to forget about the prank. Trouble was, that didn't fix that he was hiding under a table. It would have been impossible to sneak out without being noticed, even with Liam's mewling, practically keening now, so Louis continued to sit while he worked out a plan.

Plan making was not going great. The noises coming out of Liam were very distracting as was the way he'd occasionally reach under himself to rub at his tummy. Louis was beginning to think that maybe it wasn't stomach flu, but food poisoning because his own belly started to hurt as well. He curled on himself tighter at the pain only to discover he was starting to get stiff, that the pull was lower than his stomach. It was true the noises could have been confused for - something else - but this was his friend, in pain. Getting hard from that was pretty awful, right?

He couldn't stop thinking about the other possibility once it occurred to him, why it was getting him excited. As an alpha, Louis should have been able to smell certain things but it wasn't something he exactly had a lot of practise with. Most people took suppressants as soon as they presented, for all sorts of reasons, and he wasn't fully developed or anything yet. There was definitely a smell about Liam but that could just be because he was sick, even if he was a beta. Louis wasn't sure about it, but he thought that was how it worked.

But that still left the smallest chance that - Louis had found heat suppressants one time, in the X-Factor house. They'd been in a flat packet, none of the prescription information on it, left on the kitchen counter below where they were supposed to keep all their medicines. There weren't many people remaining in the house by then but it was totally possible they were left there by someone who had already gone home, forgotten in the rush of packing. He supposed the whole point of them was there was no telling who they belonged to, kept their status a secret. Was it better or worse if that was why he had an erection? If Liam was, and this was how Louis found out, chances were good Liam would think he was a terrible predator alpha shitbag and never speak to him again.

It was only getting worse the longer he waited and maybe he'd feel like less of a prick about it if he took care of Liam, if it was just a stomach ache. He was ready to strangle the teenage boy part of his brain that had its own idea of what taking care of him meant. Instead, he concentrated on the better side of his alpha nature, that needed to protect Liam, protect all of his boys, his bandmates. If sneaking out wasn't the way to go, and quietly announcing himself would probably lead to questions as to why he had been hiding in Liam's room all this time, he was left with only one option.

He knocked the desk chair back hard as he could so it clattered against the window and yelped, jumping up and back comically. Liam's eyes shot up immediately at Louis so he pulled a face too. Maybe he had leaned on the physical comedy a bit too hard in their video segments, but Liam knew Louis' methods well enough. If a joke didn't work at first, don't abandon it, sell it harder, be even weirder. No one could compete with Louis on weird. Weird was also a lot easier than making sense when half of his brain was white noise continuing to think about other possibilities because puberty's a bitch. Fortunately, Louis had left his hoodie hanging on the chair when this room had been his so he spun around and wrapped it around his waist backwards, hopefully before Liam could see Louis' twisted problem.

Despite Liam's eyes being as big as saucers, he hadn't jumped at the noise. His hands had flown out from where he had them wrapped around his waist but otherwise he was frozen. It made Louis freeze too, which wouldn't do. He could feel the awkwardness flooding the room.

"So Cher gave me her number earlier. Finally come to her senses, right?" Liam remained stock still. "But I threw it away, because she should be the one texting me, right? Keep up the chase." Liam continued to not say anything but his brows had pulled together, any sign of life was progress. "But then I realized, how will I know it's her, if I don't save her number. Because the ladies are always blowing up the Tommo's phone." God, he sounded like a prick but Liam knew better than to believe a word. "But I had thrown it in with a bunch of empty crisp packets I had before leaving." Louis gestured to the obviously empty bin he'd knocked over in his flailing performance. "And, um -"

"And you hadn't wanted to wake me?" Liam replied finally. From this angle, Louis could see the sheen of sweat on Liam's bare back and wondered if his own forehead matched right now.

"Right, exactly. So I needed to do it very slowly but before I could finish and leave quietly -" But then why did he jump up and wake up not-sleeping Liam? "But then something bit me!"

"A bed bug?" Liam was smiling but it was strained, holding back because of whatever was ailing him. Louis wanted to do anything to keep that smile on his face.

"Huge bed bug. Ginormous. Should definitely call someone -"

Liam's smile disappeared in an instant and he went back to his original panicked look. "Don't call any -" Liam tried to shout, but without that strained smile, that effort of control, it was too easy for it to shift to a moan. An unmistakably filthy moan that went straight through Louis.

Louis should have run out of the room while he was ahead, while plausible deniability remained an option for both of them. Even now, Louis was absolutely prepared to deny knowing anything if that was what Liam wanted, but he couldn't just leave knowing Liam was in pain, no matter what from.

"I won't. I won't. It was just a joke," Louis said gently. "Not as bad as Harry's but still a really bad joke." Liam tried another smile, biting into his lip. His straightened hair had started reverting back to its curl as he sweat, giving him a soft halo backlit by the bathroom light.

The way Liam met his eyes, timid, almost scared of him, they both knew what Louis knew now. Liam hadn't told him to get out yet but he should. "If you want I can make you a cuppa?" Louis scanned the dresser for a kettle.

"Louis," Liam said as he rested his face back down on the bed. "No, I don't want tea."

"That's silly, nothing tea can't fix." Although Louis supposed it made sense, that a hot beverage wouldn't be ideal in this situation. "There has to be something that would help. Ice, maybe? I'm sure there was an ice machine down the corridor, could get you a lucozade too, or a -"

Liam's eyes and fists both clenched shut before snapping, "None of that is going to fix a heat, Louis!" Liam panted from the exertion and Louis from the panic. Everything in his body was screaming to walk out the hotel door and erase this all from memory, but Liam had gone and said it and they couldn't take that back. It wasn't "I'm an omega" word for word but it might as well have been.

They were back to frozen, barely moved from their initial positions but tension had replaced awkwardness. In a very small, nervous voice, Louis asked, "Does it hurt?"

"Mhmm." Liam nodded without lifting his head up. Louis couldn't even imagine the pain as Liam coiled tighter, hips coming off the bed so he could ball his fists under himself again. There would be a day Louis would have to deal with knots and ruts, but those had to be triggered. Heats happened regardless of the situation, suppressed but not halted by medication. Louis wanted to sympathize, tell Liam how massively unfair it was that he was in this pain, but he knew he couldn't understand really.

He did know there were ways of coping with it though, that omegas used in addition to medication and before suppressants had been developed. Louis was really regretting playing coin football in biology lessons during the video presentations on puberty, figuring that as an alpha, all that would be pretty straightforward for him. There had to be a way that Louis could help Liam. And not the way his lower body was arguing valiantly for.

"Isn't there some way to make it hurt less? Or at least make it go faster?" Liam kept his face pressed into the bed, not looking at Louis, but he waited for an answer anyway, hands wringing. The silent treatment meant Louis should leave, but he felt too dizzy to move, like the room was filled with smoke, hard to breathe. Maybe that explained why he kept asking the worst possible questions. "Like they make… aides?"

"I've never…" Louis hung on every mumbled word Liam said. "I've never had to before. Like I don't know how -"

"Can't be that complicated, mate." Louis wanted to punch himself in the mouth for the both of them. Liam, to his credit, simply groaned louder and rolled on to his side, facing away from Louis, with his face buried in his hands. It was out of instinct he ran to Liam's side and self preservation that he grabbed a cushion to cover his lap. "Sorry, I didn't mean that. Like, obviously everything is a bit more complicated when you're… unwell." Liam might have managed to say it but that didn't mean Louis could. Even if the word had been on constant repeat in his head, his alpha self convinced of what he was trying to deny.

Louis hesitated for a second after sitting, hand hovering right above Liam's skin, before he reassured himself he could do this, he could comfort a friend in need and ignore everything else about the situation. Rubbing up and down Liam's back, Louis tried to think of something to say, but maybe just touching was enough as Liam relaxed slightly against Louis' leg. Louis pushed the cushion on his lap farther down as Liam was now inches from a very, very uncomfortable problem. While tight trousers didn't hide much, they did at least require tight pants, which kept the situation better contained. There was some pain too, but it was helping Louis keep his head clear.

"As a," Louis decided that maybe mate wasn't the word he should use here, "as a friend, maybe I could, I don't know. If you needed help, if you have something that could help, I could - as a friend."

Liam was more relaxed in his body but the moan in response was loud and vibrated against Louis. He followed it with a weak nod. "It's in the front pocket of my bag. On the floor."

Louis carefully stood, leaving the cushion and hoodie behind on the bed and instead making sure to stay turned away from Liam. A quick glance down confirmed that the cushion would continue to be necessary, Louis' trousers as comically tented as he could have imagined. Liam's backpack was leaning on the wall and it was a quick find, the small silky black pouch holding what was obviously a dildo even to Louis' inexperienced eyes. It was still in a cellophane sleeve inside, as unused as Liam had said.

"Got it." Setting the small bag on the bed, Louis thought carefully about the next step to getting _that_ into Liam. Louis gulped at the idea. Inside Liam. There was no time to panic though, because Liam's jeans and pants were still in the way and Louis needed to get them off before he could… get Liam off. "Um, Liam, your jeans?"

Liam nodded faster now, eyes shut tight but fingers fighting with buttons. Once Liam had them undone and shoved down slightly, Louis finished the job, tugging them off. He wasn't sure if it was better or worse that Liam wouldn't look at him, but at least he could leave his crotch uncovered a bit longer. Liam rolled back onto his front as soon as the jeans were off so his own situation Louis assumed was going on remained hidden. Not that it had anything to do with Louis. Liam couldn't help it and well, Louis' was only a bit more conscious. A reaction to the scent that was only so controllable.

Louis' hands went to the waistband of Liam's pants before thinking. "Wait, um, do you want me to do this part?" Liam merely nodded again, accompanied by an impatient groan. Louis tried to pull but the drag against the bed from where Liam's hips were pressed down was too much. "Are you sure you want me to do this at all?"

"Louis," Liam whined and Louis could have died on the spot. "It hurts. Please." Liam lifted his hips up and Louis pulled quickly in one movement, not looking up, focused on the underwear all the way down Liam's legs until they were balled up in his hand. It was only then he realized they were soaked, with sweat and slick and Liam, and now all of that was on Louis' hands. The scent there was strong but it was even stronger where it came from the bed, Liam naked and spread. It was disturbing how much Louis wanted to press his face into the pants, into Liam, get as much of the scent as he could and be covered in it. Where it had felt hard to breathe before, now it was like he was choking, but choking on something wonderful and perfect.

"Louis?"

"I'm here. I'm going to take care of you, it's okay." Louis' hands shook as they took the slim dildo from its pouch and out of the sleeve. He sat down on the bed, replacing the cushion and pushing down until his eyes watered slightly. At first he wondered if he would need lube, like how he used lotion on himself, but one look between Liam's legs made it clear that would be unnecessary. He still felt the need to be gentle, even if it was small. Louis had no idea how you worked a fake cock into your mate gently but he was going to figure it out. Into his friend, he corrected himself. Into his Liam.

"I'm gonna touch you now, if that's okay?" Liam didn't answer so much as moan in the affirmative, so with still shaking hands, praying his willpower wouldn't crumble, Louis slid his fingers between Liam's legs.

He didn't try to immediately enter Liam, rubbing up and down against him, spreading the slick around. With the way he was pressed against the bed, Louis couldn't see or touch Liam's cock. Louis had seen Liam in nothing but his pants before and hadn't assumed he was an omega then, so he couldn't be too small, and while he supposed getting Liam warmed up wasn't really necessary in a heat, it seemed like good manners. He had fingered his beta girlfriend in sixth form and she never let him get away with diving straight in. Louis slipped his fingers farther down, pressing at the back of Liam's balls, just considering squeezing his hand between Liam and the bed for a pull, when Liam stopped him.

"Louis, inside _please_. I need something inside me _right now_." Louis remembered that teasing wasn't the point of this. They weren't having sex, not properly. This was about getting Liam through his heat and that was all. As a friend.

"Right, right. Got it right here." Louis used his cleaner hand to reach for the dildo and pumped it a few times with the one that had been touching Liam, enough slick to cover it easily and up to Louis' wrist practically besides.

It slid in easily, slim and narrow, and Liam gasped with relief, the constant noises quieted for a minute. It was far smaller than Louis was and he had been assured he could grow more, wouldn't know for sure until his first knot. He briefly wondered if he would have been too big for Liam, if he had offered to help him that way, and Louis punched himself through the cushion again in retribution for letting his mind wander. Liam jerked up at the noise so Louis took his free hand and ran his fingers through Liam's hair, pulling the tangles clear, hopefully in a soothing rhythm that matched how he'd started to slide the toy back and forth. The round handle at the base made it easier for Louis to manage with his hand covered in slick and trembling still.

"Yes, yes, finish putting it in," Liam begged, thrusting his hips against Louis now, trying to get more, but Louis had put it all in, all except the handle and the base. There was no way Liam could mean the ball at the end after the slim shaft except - Oh. That was the knot. The knot Liam needed at least once if he was going to have any hope of breaking his heat. Louis, who had not got past second base yet, was about to knot his first omega. Not directly but -

Liam reached behind him and put his hand over Louis', pushing the handle, the knot really, inside himself. The moment hung in time, what Louis had just watched, Liam's hand on his, watching Liam's body open and accept the larger bulbous end.

That moment explained the delay before Louis snapped his hand back, like touching on an iron he hadn't realized was on. "Looks like you've got this sorted then!"

It was maybe reasonable for Louis to take his hand away at that point, the toy locked inside Liam, but it was certainly less reasonable the way he flew out of the room like a shot. Louis hadn't even processed what he had done until he heard the door slam shut behind him, trying to keep the cushion he hadn't dared leave behind in place between his crotch and the door as he fumbled in his pockets for his keycard for his new room, the room Harry was asleep in. Oh God, he prayed Harry was asleep. He was stuck trying to do everything one handed as his right hand was still coated in Liam's slick. In the frustration, Louis managed to knock his phone out of his pocket to the ground and had to fumble for it, keeping the door open with his foot.

Finally, Louis and everything with him made it in the room, even if he had accomplished the task by kicking his phone along the floor. As soon as he saw the room was dark, that Harry was probably asleep, Louis dropped the cushion in a run to the en suite. He hadn't meant to slam the bathroom door but he pushed his back against it as soon as he could, rushing to get himself free, out of his trousers and pants and hand around himself.

"Lou? You okay?" Harry called groggily.

"Yes, fine, bit of stomach trouble." Louis hoped his voice didn't sound as panicked to Harry as it did to his own ears. "Going to be in here for awhile. That okay?"

Harry mumbled, "Yeah, m'sleep," and that was the last Louis heard of him for the night.

His clothes piled around his feet, Louis couldn't believe the wet spot on his pants, more precome than he had ever seen. Was it possible to come in your pants and not know? Was it possible to come in your pants and need to go immediately again, because that was how he felt. He knew he should get into the shower, should rinse himself off, rinse his hand specifically, but he couldn't manage it. He normally wanked left handed, but it was his right that was covered in Liam. Liam would never know. He had managed to stay in control the whole time he was with Liam. That had exhausted all of the restraint in his body.

It was starting to dry, but Louis didn't care as he pumped into his fist. He could smell Liam everywhere, on him, on his cock. The image of Liam's body taking that plastic knot lingered so clearly in his mind, the first time he had ever seen someone take a knot, nothing like some textbook diagram. He couldn't believe that Liam could open for it like that, like maybe Liam could for him. He was jerking himself so fast he didn't particularly notice how much he was swelling at the base. He was so focused on the sight, the smell, the _sound_ of Liam, that it wasn't until he was coming over his fist that he looked down, saw the fat knot and so much more come than he ever shot at once before.

Louis hadn't screamed when he came but he had bit into his lip too hard, coppery taste on his tongue. He couldn't feel the pain at all though as he traced his fingers over his body. That was a knot, _his_ knot, hard and filled and ready for an omega. It shouldn't have surprised him that being that close to an omega in heat for that long would trigger it, but he still hadn't expected it to happen like this. Your first knot was something like losing your virginity, normally inside someone. Here Louis was, able to see it alone, touch it. For someone who was fairly well acquainted with their own dick, to see such a change all of a sudden was almost unnerving. Maybe it was just vanity, but after seeing Liam barely take a toy knot that was maybe half the size, he couldn't help but see his own as rather big. Of course, a knot would normally fill up to full size when an alpha was already buried inside an omega, spreading them from the inside, not forcing them to stretch at the entrance, but right now looking down, it didn't seem possible.

After the shock wore off, Louis realized he had no idea how long it would take to go down. The knot, and his erection, stayed hard as he washed his hands and as he took off the rest of his clothes, bundling them carefully to keep the mess contained. He thought maybe a shower would help but the water on his cock was too much, still too sensitive. He turned so the spray hit his back instead and rested his head on his forearm, leaning on the tile. The night had been exhausting but apparently was not done. He went back to his left hand, familiar but more sensitive than he had ever felt before. It only took a few thrusts before he was coming hard, depending on the support of the wall to keep him upright.

That was the point of a knot, wasn't it? To trap everything inside, to do everything nature could to guarantee conception. Louis hadn't realized that it would be so different than other times, that it wasn't only about the swollen base. He didn't bother rinsing off this time, instead spreading his come over himself, pumping again. Not able to just rest on his forearm anymore, he bit into the meat of it, the painful sensitivity doing nothing to stop his _need_ to come again. He tried to concentrate on the head, all of the tricks he knew to push himself over the edge when he didn't have a lot of time in a house full of people, but it wouldn't work.

He was getting more and more frustrated, the need to stop and the need to keep going at war within him, when he was convinced he caught the trail of Liam's scent. It was probably left on his clothes, but he concentrated on it, tried to remember it exactly, let it illustrate a picture of Liam in his mind, on all fours on his bed, slick and open where Louis could get all of the smell and taste of Liam he wanted. It was so wrong, but he couldn't help thinking of filling Liam, his knot tight inside Liam, Liam's begging not for a toy but for him. He had heard Liam say his name like that, _Louis_. Wanted him.

His last orgasm was like a punch in the gut, ripped out of him, come pulsing out of him sluggish but thick, still so much more of it than he thought possible. Louis insisted the water on his face was from the showerhead, not his tears, but he finally felt relief. He turned to rinse himself off, hissing at first from the pressure, but it at least wasn't as bad as when he first got in. By the time he had cleaned the mess off the shower wall as well, his knot had gone down. He had no idea when it would happen again, if merely being near Liam would be enough. It hadn't been before but maybe everything was different now. Maybe it would only if he was near Liam in that state again, but he had handily destroyed any chance of that happening.

There was plenty of time to hate himself tomorrow, but at that hour of night, all he wanted to do was sleep. He could take another shower in the morning and worry about things like shampoo and soap. For now, he wrapped a towel around himself and made it a whole two steps out of the bathroom before falling face first onto the bed. It wasn’t until morning when he got kicked in the face that he'd realize his bed was the one on the other side of the room.

\---

Louis woke up early enough, thanks to Harry's overly long limbs and Louis' shitty night vision, to take a proper shower and get dressed, but he hung around the room watching TV until Harry was ready to go to breakfast too. When they got downstairs, Niall and Zayn were both up already, but Liam had yet to be seen.

"Must be Liam's turn for a wake up call," Niall bounced out of his chair with sudden energy. "Let me get my guitar and we'll go. You've got a keycard for his room, right, Tommo?" 

Louis clamped a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back down. "Yes, but - he really was poorly last night, we shouldn't." If Liam was still… sick, having his room invaded by a whirlwind of boys was not a good idea at all. Even if it had passed, Louis imagined Liam would have woken up even more tired than he had, and possibly was not entirely cleaned up yet. Louis was sure Liam's status wouldn't mean anything to his bandmates, but it was his secret to tell when he wanted and it was bad enough Louis found out the way he did. There was also the possibility Liam was avoiding leaving his room, avoiding Louis.

"Wait, did you see him last night after he left? Thought he went straight back to the hotel," Harry asked.

"Right, yes. He did. I, um, brought him some ice. Fever." He was doing only slightly better at improv than he was last night which really didn't make any sense when he was normally so good at it. "I'll go check on him. Eat your breakfast."

Louis ignored any further questions and fortunately none of them followed him as far as the lift. He ran straight to Liam's door anyway in case the lads changed their minds, three flights of stairs would have been short work for them. It was fine, no one else was there, but now Louis was and he didn't know what to do. He wasn't going to use his keycard this time. He tried to reach out with whatever his alpha senses were, to see if he could smell or hear or somehow _sense_ whether it was still going on. Was there some minimum amount of time it had to last, or some way to tell if it would be more than a day? He swore if this boy band thing didn't work out and he had to return to school, he would pay much better attention next time.

There was no way to tell with the door shut so Louis raised his hand to knock, but what if Liam really was avoiding Louis? Louis hadn't meant to take advantage of Liam the night before, tried only to do what Liam had asked for, but that didn't change anything if Liam felt he had took advantage. None of that would make a difference if Liam hated him now and quit the band and Louis had ruined the one good thing that had ever happened to him all because he couldn't walk out of a room when he should have.

Maybe it would still work out for the rest of them, he could leave to keep Liam from quitting. They didn't need him nearly as much. Maybe they'd manage even with Liam hating him, there were days Louis wasn't so sure that wasn't how it was already but then there were days they were so close. Days where they shared jokes and secrets and maybe that was what yesterday was. Maybe it could make them closer.

It was with that determination Louis managed to knock. The door handle turned almost immediately, like Liam had been waiting on the other side, but then the door didn't open. "Liam?" Louis whispered to the empty hallway and cracked door. "Can we talk? Please."

Liam opened the door barely enough to let Louis in. The bed was tightly made and Liam's bags were neatly packed and ready to go. Even with waking up early, Louis hadn't got to that yet. Most importantly, there was no sign of what happened last night anywhere. Liam must have had them come change the sheets first thing. Otherwise, that much of that scent again and Louis might have embarrassed himself and ruined everything all over again.

"Hopefully they'll just think I brought someone back to the room and not tell a tabloid." Liam walked back from the door and stood uncomfortably next to Louis. Not looking at each other, not sitting on the bed where they had - "It's crazy to think people pay to know those sorts of things, that anyone even knows our names or cares about our secrets..."

"Someone on the crew knows?"

"Just Laura, just the one."

"She'll make sure it stays a secret if that's what you want. No one's going to sell your story or tell someone. I'm not going to tell anyone." Liam's shoulders sagged a little in relief. "It's yours to tell to whoever you want and I'm sorry I fucked that up last night. I won't tell the other lads, but I think you should. Whenever you're ready, you know."

Liam sat on the bed, face cradled in his hands. "I know. I know. For all I know, I'm not alone in this." He looked up at Louis hopefully. Apparently, he hadn't put it together last night that Louis was an alpha. It didn't seem fair Louis knew Liam's status but not the other way around.

"I'd like to think I'd be a little less shit than I was last night if I was, you know, too." The hope in Liam's face dropped and Louis moved closer to grab Liam's hands, not let him hide in them again. "I don't know about the others' status but I do know they wouldn't think any differently of you if they knew." Louis kicked at the toe of Liam's shoe to nudge him into looking up. "You'd still be Daddy Direction."

Liam managed a small smile before looking back down. "You weren't shit last night. I shouldn't have put off doing something about it so long, til I was such a mess."

Louis couldn't say he hadn't been a mess, coated in sweat and begging, and it seemed like a very good idea to sit down next to Liam on the bed rather than directly in front of him, Liam's face level with Louis' belly and far too close. "You said you hadn't needed to before but was this your first?" Seventeen would have been a pretty late bloomer to just be starting.

"No, no, but as soon as I presented, it was right on suppressants so I really only had that first one and I just sweat it out in the bath for a few days. But, you know I've been to some better doctors about my kidney?" Louis rolled his eyes since Liam couldn't see and yes, they'd heard about Liam's fun-preventing kidney. "There apparently was, is, a different suppressant that would help some of the stress on the one kidney, which is good with how busy we are and everything. The doctor warned me switching might lead to a short heat, stronger than I'm used to but obviously wasn't expecting that. I only had, you know, something to help, because Roo tucked it in bag before we left. I figured it was something to embarrass me or whatever."

That was something Louis could not imagine doing for any of his baby sisters but maybe by the time they were old enough to present, he'd be old and wise like Ruth Payne. Louis wasn't sure what to say so he wrapped an arm around Liam, rubbing his back. He couldn't believe what he had witnessed was a suppressed heat, not the full thing.

"I guess even with suppressants, it's going to get stronger as I get older or if I'm seeing someone, but, uh, thanks to you, I think I've worked it out, what to, um, do next time." Liam rested his head on Louis' shoulder. With Liam being so nice, even with his face hot with embarrassment, Louis felt worse and worse for not saying anything but Liam had started again before he could. "It's still scary, though. Like we're already getting mobbed and I know it's all mostly young girls but it wouldn't take much for a big alpha to push through that if they knew, if they could tell..."

"Hey, hey, you're not alone, right?" Louis gathered up Liam's hand, nails digging into his thigh reflexively with the scenario running through his head, something out of an old scare tactic PSA about 'stay safe through your heat by staying in.' "If it came to something like that, like with an alpha, there'd be someone to protect you."

"Yeah, I know the tour has security and all..."

"No, I mean," Louis took a deep breath to gather his courage. He didn't want to say it if he didn't mean it. "Last night was just mates, friends there for each other, and it's not like any of that makes me _your_ alpha, but if we were out together, shopping or in the club or whatever, I'd claim you to get another alpha to back off." Louis' hand holding Liam's had gone all sweaty.

Liam laughed at first, but Louis' grip tightened and he figured out Louis was serious. "I hadn't realized that you were, figured you were a beta honestly because, like, how were you able to, last night, if..."

Louis stiffened because it did get tiring that no one gave him enough credit. "I know it looks like I have no self control but that's because I save it for when it counts, you know?"

"I know, I do, but I figured alphas just did, would have to do whatever if they smelled an omega in heat."

"S'not like you were crawling all over me and couldn't control it." Louis ignored the fact they were completely wrapped around each other at the moment, Louis wanting to shield and protect Liam even when they were alone. "We can still be friends, right?"

"No," Liam replied but before Louis could react. "More than friends. Bandmates. Closer than brothers, innit?"

Louis turned and pressed a smile against Liam, almost like a kiss on his forehead. "Niall's the only one with a brother so you'll have to ask him, I s'pose."

\---

The brothers dynamic stayed strong from then on until it changed to something more, into partners, first in business and songwriting, then in everything. It wouldn't be until years later that Louis would see Liam in the throes of a heat again and longer still until they would acknowledge what that first time and all the times after meant to both of them. Liam eventually told Louis what it was like that morning, afraid to go downstairs alone, afraid to run into Louis and see disgust on his face for having seen Liam so desperate. To be fair, they didn't discuss at the time why Louis had run out, how scary it was for both of them to have their bodies act completely differently than they were used to.

Louis nudges Liam with a knee to start Liam snoring again after he's quieted down. The sound is reassuring. It would be quite a few months until Louis would see Liam in heat again and by then, they'll probably be exhausted by a baby but Louis looks forward to it anyway. He's loved it every single time and always would.


End file.
